Finding new ways of relating and communicating in neurodiverse relationships.
Do you feel like your "non-ADHD-partner" is constantly nagging and criticizing you? No matter what you do, nothing is ever good enough? Or maybe you feel constantly let down by your "ADHD-partner"? No matter how many times you agree on tasks or contributions to the relationships, your partner rarely seems to follow through? Then ADHD focused couples counseling might be for you.
Couples that are impacted by ADHD often become stuck in a range of difficult dynamics. The partner with ADHD might already struggle with low self-esteem due to prior experiences of being "different" from the neurotypical world around them. This potentially makes them even more sensitive to “not being good enough” in their partners eyes. They often feel they're doing their best to satisfy their partners needs, but are still being nagged, criticised or controlled despite all their efforts. Interestingly, the partner without ADHD often feels equally stressed and on edge. They might feel their partner never follows through on agreements and is just generally unpredictable – they either have to constantly remind them or find other ways to stay on top of situations. In addition, many non-ADHD partners report feelings of loneliness and frustration over being left alone with responsibilities around children, household, finances, etc.
Both partners can feel like walking on eggshells around each other, unable to find productive ways of communicating with each other. They might begin to question whether their relationship issues and differences can be resolved.
ADHD focused couples counseling combines elements of psychoeducation, practical structures for managing tasks, conflict-solving and communication skills as well as facilitating empathy and understanding for each other. It's often helpful to learn about aspects of ADHD and of codependent behaviour in order to understand how difficult dynamics can evolve. Sometimes personal history and childhood experiences contribute to the emotional triggers and challenges of both partners. One of the key elements in overcoming these issues is being mindful and self-responsible in dealing with ones own emotions instead of trying to change the partner's behaviour. Neurodiverse relationships can feel challenging, but they also bring unique learning experiences and opportunities for growth into our lives.
ADHD focused couples counseling usually combines different elements and may include a range of tools and approaches that are tailored to the individual needs of both partners.
If you’d like to schedule an initial appointment for couples counseling, please contact me via email on contact@creatinglinks.de or on the It’s Complicated therapy platform.
